Seeking redemption through relationships has become the latest dilemma for millennials
Seeking Redemption from Others
The longing that lies deep within our souls for connection and validation from others can sometimes become a heavy burden to carry. Expectations can hurt us immensely when we expect our partners to fill in the emotional void that lies within all of us. We seek the comfort of the known and try to escape from the unknown as much as we can. This burning desire inside us can also affect our choice of partners.
We somehow wish to heal the anxieties that fester in our hearts and soul from old destructive patterns. The need to heal our childhood trauma can translate into redemptive longing for partners that impersonate our childhood authority figures. We need to realize that no one can suffice for our hidden unmet needs unless we complete the healing journey on our own.
What once seemed like a gift from heaven can turn into a curse in the shape of our partners as we wish to absolve ourselves from the guilt and pain that lies within. The only way to get rid of these uneasy feelings is to absorb ourselves in materialistic pleasure. We find ourselves condemning our partners and deflecting our guilt towards them. When the healing balm becomes counter-intuitive and starts to inflame our emotional wounds, we sink even deeper into clouds of depression and despondency.
Seeking Validation from Partners
We enter into repetitive destructive patterns, just to seek validation from controlling partners. The patterns of emotional abuse and neglect can be so deteriorating to our sense of self that we succumb to a life of endless distress and agitation. When we begin to use relationships to make us feel whole, we are prone to addictive and destructive patterns in the long run. Instead of addressing the issue at its core, we compromise our dignity, respect and identity, just to appear pleasant to our partner.
To sum it up…
Self -love comes first and foremost and our search for lasting love can make us compromise on our authentic self as well as our ability to reveal our true self to others. The reality that we hide from others gradually becomes unreal to us and we become an impostor.
Redemption is the ability to absolve oneself of the sins of the past. The concept offers some hope for people who feel lost in the labyrinth of their own suffering and seek a recluse. However, we need to realize that at the heart of everything, it is the intention that matters behind all our actions.